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Dear Younger Me: Relax, it will all be OK

7/13/2023

1 Comment

 
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One of the questions I almost always ask in a video biography or ethical will interview is "If you could give a piece of advice to yourself aged 20, what might that be?" How would you answer that question? How would your family answer that question? 

Jonathan Goldstein sought answers to that question and made a compelling 4 minute documentary entitled "How to Age Gracefully" (see it below).

Goldstein hosts "Wire Tap",  a Canadian radio show that is broadcast in the US by PRI. For eleven years, the show invited listeners to eavesdrop on a mix of funny, thoughtful and unpredictable stories and conversations. Sadly, they broadcast their last show in 2015, but went out in a blaze of humor by posting a touching video of people of all ages giving advice to their younger selves.

From an 91 year old (addressing her 88 year old self): "Cultivate younger friends, otherwise all yours will die off!" 

From a 92 year old: "Don't listen to anybody's advice. Nobody knows what the hell they're doing."

Every life is different and all our paths are unique. We are shaped by peculiar circumstances and our individual experiences hardly comprise a valid statistical sample.  And yet... The advice of people to themselves looking back does lay claim to our attention. All of us, at least part of the time, are asking ourselves: how do we lead the good life.

Not all the good advice comes from oldsters. From one 8 year old wearing a Viking helmet: "No matter what anyone says, stay weird." A high schooler has this to add: "Don't get involved with the 'popular' kids. They are narcissistic capitalists who know nothing about politics." Perhaps most useful is this: "Ask her to dance.  Just trust me on this."

Perhaps the most common and gratifying answer I receive in my video biography work is along these lines:  

"If I could talk to my 20 year old self I would say: Relax. It's all going to be alright" 

There is so much stress around finding a partner, getting educated, dealing with friendships, making a living, raising children, aging, looking after parents, losing loved ones, and so many other things (to say nothing of the world's problems). Yet, for most older people I meet, when all the hue and cry dies down, they reach a level of acceptance and calm which they just wish they knew was waiting for them when they were younger.

But for many of the interview subjects in "How to Age Gracefully" they are still learning the smaller - though important too - lessons: 

"Dear 19 year old, just because it's an 'all you can eat' buffet, does not mean you need to eat all you can".

"Dear 48 year old.  Always tell the truth.  Except when it's your online dating profile."

How would you answer this most fascinating of questions?  How would your family and your friends answer it?
1 Comment
Kim link
7/3/2024 01:10:17 pm

Thanks great blog posst

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